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Dear CyberRelate Guys,
Having lived in the US for eight years now I have become aware of the “cult of foreskin” that exists here. I had always assumed that extra skin at the end of your dick was no big deal, it being the norm where I come from but obviously I was wrong. I have further exacerbated this anomaly by getting a PA which prompted a bartender in Cincinnati to invite half the bar in to the restroom to watch me piss. (A little disconcerting but I managed to not spray on too many of them).
Anyway, having been the object of foreskin envy, I recently discovered a fun toy for playing with those that like a “turtle neck” on their dick. It’s a gelatin rubber masturbator sleeve.
They come in a number of colors but the prevailing one for some strange reason seems to be pink. Basically it’s a cylinder about six inches long. Designed to be extremely stretchy with a texture somewhat like stiff jello. The idea is that you take a little lube and grease up the tube and then slide the sleeve down over your dick.
Simple enough and very pleasant but wait there’s more.
When I am playing with someone who has expressed an interest in my foreskin but lacks their own, I like to slide it onto their dick and keep it on with a string, cockring or bootlace (boot can be left attached for added points here). They get to feel the sleeve on their dick and pull it back and forth like a larger version of a foreskin. If I want to tweak them further, I make them pull the end of the masturbator over the head of their dick and then I slide my own dick into the sleeve. This feels a lot like docking to me, by the way docking is where one guy slides his dick into the foreskin of another, an interesting experience in its own right. For guys out there that like foreskin, pushing your dick up into the rubber sleeve against his dick can produce some very gratifying results. The best things about it—its washable with soap and warm water and easy to clean!
Many of the better sex shops now sell them, including Mr S Leathers in San Francisco and at under $15 bucks its a great toys to have in your box. I’ve also seen lots of knock off versions around for even cheaper, including amazon, but prefer the better quality ones.
My pals at the Hell Hole, one of San Francisco’s newer groups to focus on ass play, fisting and gay mens sexual health have collaborated with the Stop AIDS Project to design one of the most well thought out and hot “how to’s” I’ve seen in years.
You can visit them at www.hellholesf.com or
download the brochure here : Sacred Art of Fisting
For other tips chekc out RedRights fisting site.
Dear CyberRelate,
What’s the best way to take care of my sex toys, things like dildos and butt plugs?
PJ
Pj –
It’s really pretty simple;
For most good quality Latex or rubber insertables – you can wash them in you regular household dishwasher – but don’t use the sani-cycle unless you want soup or cracking to occur.
The other way that works is to wash them with any type of antibacterial soup and hot water (you might want to wear gloves for this) rinse them well and let them soak in a pail of 1 part bleach to 10 parts waters for 10 minutes, then rewash.
For the new Cyber-skin type toys- you can use soap and water, but the bleach may be too strong so you should think about how you use them and avoid sharing them.
There are other types commercial cleaners on the market some of which work especially well on silicone based toys, which are pretty hearty and clean up fine and some that will work on a wide assortment of toys.
The fastest and easiest way to clean them is simply to cover them with a condom, makes clean up an cinch. The washing will remove or kill most common STD’s, but the verdict is still out on Hepatitis C, hence the suggestion to not share toys.
Getting your butt hole cleaned out is not rocket science – but you can do some damage you aren’t careful – so right off the bat – if it hurts – you aint doing it right! Now every experienced bottom (or switch) I know has his own secret system that he swears by. I collected a few suggestions that I feel will add to your systems and that you may find helpful.
When it comes to cleaning out for butt play the object is to get warm water up your butt and then expel it, doing this enough times until the water runs out clear. For deeper play – you may need to go longer and in some cases deeper than focusing on a more shallow or quick clean out.
You can use enema bags, commercial enema kits( toss the chemical fluids away- plain old fashioned water does the job just fine), enema bottles
Enema Bottle Kit
, Enema bulbs 
or easily specialty designed gear purchased in most fetish and leather shops such as the “Silver Bullet” or the “Shower Shot” nozzles. 
One of my more recent favorites is the Streammaster portable set-up. 
All of these use a similar system, that includes a diverter, hose and nozzle combinations attach to the shower head and can control flow and temperature as you like. The Steammaster fits over the shower head instead of using a diverter and works with a combination of water pressure and gravity to give you a subtle clean out process verses the more intense (but adjustable) stream from the shower head direct.
To use any of these – it’s best to have a toilet handy as most shower drains were not designed to handle shit down the drain in large amounts. Your internal anal areas do not have temperature gauges – so check the water temp before you shove the nozzle up your butt, if it feels barely warm when you run it over your arm – it shouldn’t burn your insides. Slide the nozzle in while the water is running – and clench your butt to keep the water inside. When you feel full, slide the nozzle out, while keeping the water inside you.. It will feel odd and vaguely uncomfortable at first.
Some men recommend slight stretching or bending at the waist to help water move about inside to loosen things up. Then get yourself over the toilet and let it go. Repeat this until the water runs clear. Usually 4 or 5 times is more than enough. If you plan more intensive play – you may want to clean out deeper . Keep in mind nature has a sense of humor and on some occasions you may think you are cleaned out – and you body decides to toss you a curve ball – don’t sweat it – just hop back on and repeat the procedure. The sources listed below all offer other suggestions and versions of the basic butt douche techniques.
A few last thoughts – if you are planning on an intense butt focused night – you will want to start the clean out earlier in the day so that you can work with the bodies nature digestive timeline. Many of my fisting pals all say the diet and the foods they eat the day before or even the afternoon/morning of makes a huge difference.
There are lots of great resources for your BUTT pleasure – Here are a few I recommend to my clients or groups when I teach the Journey to Your Anus classes.
Visit http://www.Sexuality.org for all your health and sex questions or http://www.hellholesf.com/Links.htm for additional links on tips and techniques
Three great books on the market are -
- Anal Pleasure & Health, Jack Morin, Ph.D.,
- Trust, The Hand Book, Bert Herrman,
- The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex by Bill Brent
All of these titles are available from most fetish stores with book sections, from gay bookstores, or in most cases from Amazon.com.
Dear CyberRelate,
What’s the best way to take care of my sex toys, things like dildos and butt plugs?
PJ
***
Pj –
It’s really pretty simple;
For Latex insertables – you can wash them in you regular household dishwasher – but don’t use the sani-cycle unless you want latex soup.
The other way that works is to wash them with any type of antibacterial soup and hot water (you might want to wear latex gloves for this) rise them well and let them soak in a pail of 1 part bleach to 10 parts waters for 10 minutes, then rewash.
For the new Cyber-skin type toys- you can use soap and waters, but the bleach may be too strong so you should think about how you use them and avoid sharing them.
There are other types on the market such as silicone, which are pretty hearty and clean up fine. The fastest and easiest way to clean them is simply to cover them with a condom, makes clean up an cinch. The washing will remove or kill most common STD’s, but the verdict is still out on Hepatitis C, hence the suggestion to not share toys.
Dear CyberSex Guy
Every so often I try to get offline and actually meet someone I chat with. What’s the best way to introduce yourself to someone you know online—but never met in person? Keeping in mind, I’m hoping this we click and can take it from there… -TK
Ummm,, say hello?
OK, I am not being a smart ass here. Sometimes a simple “Hi, I’m X, its nice to finally meet in person.” is as effective as all those clever lines.
A smile while looking him in the eyes at the same time usually says the rest. One of the biggest goofs we do when trying to meet someone new, is we don’t know how to have small talk. No one wants to get right into his or your personal life. Even if you have spent hours talking smut already online.
Talk about things that you might have in common. Flirt; get a feel for where he is. Its ok to simply ask the other person— how is this going and what do they think?
The other suggestion I have it to know when to leave. There is something to that old saying that “ A lady knows when to leave the party”. Leave something for him to want to find out about you the next time you run into each other or on that date you finally get around to asking him on.
If you do click—you can be even more “vintage” and ask him out for a real date, in person!
Try it…
A regular Bud of mine who likes to use the Internet to meet men, shared with me some of his recent thoughts. I found his email so interesting, I thought I would share it as a this months SportSex post
1. Does toppish mean, “top if I have to”?
2. Why do total tops only show pictures of their butts or for that matter total bottoms show their dick shots only?
3. Why do guys that want it to be anonymous and it doesn’t matter what you look like always insist on a face pic?
4. Guys who want to do you through a glory hole always want a full head and body shot
5. Bareback bottoms that insist on they are HIV- expect only HIV- men to answer their ad, do they know that men lie?
6. Do you know that people in general lie online? 7. Does DDF mean drug free (but pot is ok) and disease free (don’t
have the syph and clap)? 8. Does clean mean that they showered? 9. If it’s blurred out or not shown, it’s either disgusting or not there.
10. The ones looking for a boyfriend and all they show is their dick. Is the person looking for a boyfriend or is his dick looking?
11. Someone says they are ready now in their ad, but, when you call they won’t be ready for two hours.
12. There are those looking for friends or a workout partner only but all you see is their cock, balls and naked butt.
13. Spelling errors – enough said 14. “I’m lonely and want to cuddle. Oh, and under 30 only.” They are
not that lonely and who goes on a hook up site to cuddle?
15. I am discreet, I won’t show a face pic, but send your face pic for a response.
16. A lot of us have been online since the mid-1990’s and some guys are still using the same pictures and insisting that you look like your pic.
17. What does ‘HIV I don’t know’ mean, I thought there were two status’ + or – ?
18. People like to list what they don’t want, they can list what they are looking for, couldn’t they?
19. Some guys have to post chastising messages about behavior like – ‘Why is everyone on this site HIV+?’
20. And last but not least, trashing a post because you didn’t get an answer boohoo.
Got any more of your own?
Feel free to use this a your online place to anonymously post your questions on sex, fetish and getting off. Think of this as your own personal sexual confessional session.
Too shy to post? Email us at info@Cyberrelate.com and we will post it for you with our response.
Posted December 22nd, 2009. Add a comment
Something Wicked This Way Comes
Soon!
Posted December 5th, 2009. Add a comment
