now for a little levity

A few parting shots with some CyberRelate guidelines when thinking about your cock gear –

Unless its intentional – consider that if it’s got sharp edges, don’t use it!

Unless you are into the SM thing – sharp edges usually mean poorly finished rings and straps. They can scratch or nick you causeing an infection or worse. Remember Hep C (and HIV) only needs a small portal of entry !

If it’s rusted, bent or coming apart, Buy a new one!

If you have a strap with the grommets or buckles rusting or bent – its time for a new one,. That also goes for stretched out ones., At some point they will break, so don’t get caught without one that fits.

If it’s cold, its time to get let some blood in!

If you are wearing your ring for a while or its too tight and your dick begins to feel cold or clammy if may be a good idea to ease the tension or remove it for a while. This allows for some fresh blood to warm up your equipment. Its been my experience that cold dicks don’t taste or feel natural and your partner will appreciate it..

If you can’t remember the last time you had sex without using one, its time to take it off for a while!

Like any muscle mass, the more you keep in in the ring – the less it will use its own natural abilities – try not to sleep or shower in them. IF you aren’t having a nooner at work – you don’t need to wear i.

If you use medically prescribed impotency enhancers like Viagra, you should speak with your doctor about using cock rings. In some cases you can cause serious damage to blood being in trapped in your dick for extended periods of time. (By the way, part of the solution includes a long needle in your dick, need I say more) . When in doubt – use the adjustable one so you can remove it easier. Remember if you are hard for 4 hours, you have to wait till you are soft to remove the solid ring in most cases.

A simple google search will get you lots of other tricks and technique’s for your dick, here are a few to check out:

http://www.mybodyvibes.com/guidance/qa/article104_cockrings.html

It captures some very real conversations that happen between men – and the disconnect that some negative men continue to have around accepting responsibility for what they choose to do.. or not to do

Judge for yourself…

For those of you who follow my blogs, tweets and some of my other internet-based projects, you know I have particular point of view when it comes to gay men, sex and responsible sexual health.

Lately, I’m finding something I don’t think is all that cool. While I appreciate that some of you will not agree with this post – I do feel it has to be said as well.

If you get laid, have sex, fuck or get fucked, suck or get sucked – however, you want to label it- you are at risk for an STD. As uncomfortable as it may sound, it’s the way it is. This resurgence of the word “clean” as a way to describe ourselves in profiles and CL postings is not only inaccurate, it implies that being sexual makes us “dirty.” I contend that in fact – “clean” builds on the fear and ignorance that gets in our way of developing a confident health, expressed sexual self-identity.

A few thoughts for those who use the word “clean” in your profile:

Don’t fool yourself. Most guys with an STD don’t even know they have one, and they are not out to infect you intentionally. The only sure way to know you don’t have anything requires work, honesty and a lot of attention to your own sexual awareness. Being tested is a great start, but is not a guarantee.

Yup that’s right. Testing alone isn’t a guarantee you are not going to have (or get) something. If you don’t want to be exposed to an STD, your options are solo play or sex only with men, who are only having sex with you exclusively AND who have been tested in sequence with you (tested when you first meet, tested 3 months later, etc.) to cover the period of time between possible exposure and infection – and that time period varies for each STD. Otherwise, at least some risk exists.

So maybe its time we stop asking if the guys we have sex with are “clean,” and instead start asking ourselves if we are doing all we can do to keep ourselves healthy. In fact – I find that guys who combine routine comprehensive testing, treatment and talking to partners about STDs as a natural part of their sexual routine usually end up with less STDs than those who make judgments about guys who have them (or they think “could have one” ). All too frequently, the guy, who thinks being “clean” is an accurate way to describe the lack of STDs, has incomplete or inaccurate information about STDs. He is often the same guy who will get mad if he ends up with one.

If you really want to create a message in your profile that reinforces your desire to have a healthy sexual encounter think about including alternative ways to express it. Two statements that I have found useful include: “I test for STDs routinely – prefer men that do as well” or “Last tested for STD(and/or HIV) XX/XX/XX”. Its simple and gets the message across without judging others and without setting ourselves up to fail.

Not sure where to get tested locally to you? visit www.HIVtest.org and use your zip code to find STD & HIV testing sites near you.

Make sure you don’t get that one gift that you can’t casually get rid of as the months change. Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STD’s) continue to be on the increase in the gay mens networks.

After years sexual prevention methods being targeted toward HIV, its important to remember that sex also puts us at risk for other STD’s. So, when you are thinking about keeping yourself and/or your partner safe always remember to include BOTH HIV and STD in your thoughts.

STD WATCH!

Signs to look out for:

• Sores, blisters or small pimple like irritations on or near your mouth, butt or dick.
• In some cases, a white or yellowish drip or discharge from your dick will occur.
• If it stings, burns or is painful when you piss or shit.
• You find yourself having to piss often.
• A persistent redness or swelling in your throat.
• Fevers, aches and other flu-like symptoms.
• In some instances, swelling in or around your dick or butt.

At the first sign or symptom – call your doctor or visit your local clinic for an appointment. Don’t have sex until after you have seen your doctor. You may pass on the STD to another person. If you are sexually active, have had unsafe or barrier-free sex, make testing a part of your routine health care. Most providers suggest that testing for STD every 3 – 6 months makes sense if you sexually engaged..

If you test positive for an STD, Don’t get mad or freak out – get treatment. Then contact all partners you have had sex with in the recent month. It may be embarrassing to make the call – but you will be helping to protect others and might even end up protecting yourself in the long run.

Steps to Protection

• TALK!!! Before you fuck or suck – find out about your partner. Find out what they might be at risk for or at least find out if they test routinely (Of course this really only works in venues where talking is appropriate and makes sense).
• USE YOUR EYES! Check for sores, redness or a discharge.
• BUT! Not all STD’s have symptoms. So you or your partner may not know he has anything.
• EDUCATE YOURSELF! Find out about what out there. Call your local clinics, doctors offices or Department of Public Health. If you have access to the Internet – do some surfing. Ignorance is no protection.
• TEST! Get yourself tested every 3 to 6 months. Make it routine part of taking care of yourself and you will always be one step ahead.
• Want a provider who is gay or gay friendly?
• The Gay and Lesbian Medical Association (GLMA) has a list of gay Providers in the Bay area. Call 415-255-4547 for more information.

Other Resources:

National STD Hotline 800-227-8922

http://www.HIVTest.org (This links to the national STD/HIV site listing by zip code)

http://www.stdcheckup.org/

http://www.Shotworthy.com

Some common STD’s include: Chancroid, Chlamydia, Cytomegalovirus (CMV), Genital Warts, Gonorrhea, Hepatitis B Virus (HBV), Herpes, HIV, Human Papilloma Virus (HPV), Molluscum Contagiosum, Pelvic Inflammatory Disease, Pubic Lice, Scabies, Syphilis, Trichomoniasis, Urinary Tract Infections.

DZ is about knowing how best to protect yourself and those you have sex with from these sexual critters and also establish a sexual health routine that works for you.

A Men’s Plan for Sexual Health

If You Use It – Test It! FInd places to test for STD & hiv – www.HIVtest.org

MAKE routine testing for syphilis, gonorrhea and Chlamydia a regular part of your health care every 3 months.

HIV Positive? ASK your provider is he/she is testing for all of these when you have your labs done.

TALK to your partners. Find out if they are testing routinely.

TELL your sex partners if you test positive for an STD.

GET it treated as soon as possible and don’t have sex while being treated or taking the medicine for it.

SHARE the news. If you aren’t willing to talk to your partners, visit www.InSpot.org to tell your partners online

Looking for more tips on STD/Testing and prevention? Check out our tips post